Most people associate BDSM primarily with sexual orientation and accordingly with the free living out of this passion with various play partners. This is also quite often the case and for many people in this area the rule. But what if BDSM and love mix and a partnership develops? This is a field of tension that couples have to sort out for themselves in a completely new way.
The problems between play and real life
Every form of BDSM relationship is a game with a power imbalance. There is always an active and more powerful partner and a partner with less power. No matter if it is classic domination, doctor games or bondage games. And here lies the big problem that many people see and also feel in a BDSM relationship.
Because this power differential may and should only play a role in the game and exclusively there. Although there are certainly people who wish to experience this power imbalance in reality, but this desire often fades after the first experiences. Because a really happy and long-term relationship can only succeed if both partners face each other at eye level.
Communication is especially important in a BDSM relationship
Good and open communication is important in any relationship. But in relationships where BDSM plays a role as a type of play, communication needs to be even more open and clear. This is because in most of the possible games, one of the participants will go to the limits of the other and carefully try to expand them or play along the boundaries.
Without open communication about one's feelings, about one's desires and also about taboos, such a relationship cannot work at all. In addition, communication offers the possibility to give each other clear guidelines about when and in which situations to play.
It does not always have to be fixed rituals
Many couples in BDSM relationships talk about the fact that they definitely let BDSM elements flow into everyday life. And this is completely unplanned and quite spontaneous, if the mood and the time fit. But here, too, communication is the key. You can't read your partner like a book.
If he is not in the mood, this must be addressed. But in this respect, many BDSMers are much more open-minded than other people. Because to be able to live out one's own inclinations with a beloved partner is worth an enormous amount.
If then still the communication is right and always clearly distinguished between game and real life, then a dream comes true for many people.
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BDSM relationships are not recognizable from the outside
On the outside, BDSM relationships are no different than any other relationship. It is not too unlikely that one of the friendly greeting neighbors in the neighborhood has an inclination in this direction himself or even lives it out with his partner.
A good and functioning relationship with BDSM-part differs from many other relationships only in the sexual area. And even there not completely, because even couples with BDSM inclination like to enjoy the tender, joint and intimate sex and can quite playfully sleep together.
Because between sex and the BDSM practices there are still clear differences.