To familiarize you with the topic of BDSM, we have asked an experienced Dom to describe his view and his experiences in the field of BDSM. Of course there is not "the Dom", but always only personalities. Nevertheless, through this report you can see what is important to many Doms in the fulfillment of their sexual desire.
As a Dom you don't have to be a sadist
I am dominant and I like to live it out in sexual games. But I am not a sadist. I do not inflict pain in order to get intoxicated by it, but I experience my sexual pleasure through the subjugation of the sub to my commands.
How we arrange the joint sessions depends not only on me and my wishes, but also on the preferences of the sub. After all, we should both be able to live out our pleasure.
Pain should always have a purpose
As mentioned, pain is part of the game for many subs. However, that doesn't mean that pain should just be inflicted. Pain, whether by hand, whip, or even brush is used either as a reward or as a punishment.
[emotion emotion_id="393" ]
It is important that the dose is right. Here it needs experience. Because neither too light, nor too strong punishment keeps the mood up. It is always necessary to find the right dosage.
BDSM is a common waltz to the beat of the melody
BDSM does not mean fulfilling only my desires at all costs and focusing only on my pleasure. Much more it is like a dance, where the man leads, but without the movements of the partner would still not advance. I pay attention to the lust and desires of my subs and try to satisfy them.
Because the pleasure of the subs comes from the submission, from the pains and from the pleasure of serving. It is a sexual inclination that I do not share, but I can combine perfectly with my inclination. A constant give and take on a wavelength.
For this reason, by the way, the BDSM relationship gets better and better the longer it lasts. Because the knowledge of the limits and desires of the other and the increasing trust allow much more intense games and sessions.
Sub or partner - there are clear differences
As a Dom, I've had quite a few female partners as well as many subs in shorter or longer affairs. And there are huge differences. For example, I am not obligated to be faithful to a sub.
I can even purposefully sleep with other women to humiliate the sub and thus give her a feeling of pleasure. With my partners it looks different. Without the explicit permission of my partner, I would never touch another woman, let alone sleep with her.
This is also true in cases where my partner shared my preferences and enjoyed the joint sexual games as a sub.