In practically all guidebooks and all publications in the field of BDSM, a safeword plays an important role. It is a word that is said during BDSM sex to interrupt any play and thus mark the immediate termination of the session.
However, the right words are not always chosen. We will show you an alternative to the safeword, which words are particularly suitable and why such a solution is especially important.
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Boundaries and borderline experiences in BDSM
Many games and play areas in BDSM go to our limits. This is wanted and desired and often makes up the special element of a BDSM session. Nevertheless, the passive partners must be able to signal to the active part when a limit has been reached or crossed.
In this context, words like "No" or "Stop" or "Stop it" may not be appropriate, as these words can also be used in the game to increase its effect on the partner.
Using the safeword to signal an immediate break or stop
For this reason, many couples agree on a safeword in this area. This usually has so little to do with the current game that it can be recognized immediately and acted upon accordingly.
If the safeword is muttered, said, or even moaned or shouted, the active partner knows to interrupt the game immediately and ask for it. This is also the responsibility of the dominant part and is an important part of the game. Catching the partner during or after a session are of particular importance.
Finding the right safeword
The search for a suitable safeword can provide partners with quite funny moments. Because there are some requirements for a good safeword, which you should consider. First, the word must be easy to remember. In the game, you are in an extreme situation and must be able to remember the word quickly.
"Deoxyribonucleic acid" would be too long and impractical a word. Rather choose a short, quickly pronounceable word from normal everyday life, which has no relation to BDSM or sex for you. Car, refrigerator or paper can be such simple words. Apple, pear or fruit are also quite common.
Work more differentiated with the traffic light system
A safeword signals an immediate stop and can thus bring a session to a sudden end. For this reason, many couples rely on a traffic light system, with which the state of mind can be indicated.
"Green" means that everything is fine and the game can continue as before.
"Yellow", on the other hand, shows that you are approaching a limit and are not sure how far you can still go and what you can still allow.
"Red" means the immediate end. The partner should immediately refrain from what he is doing and look after you.
It always becomes difficult when the passive partner cannot talk, for example, due to a gag. Here, the top is particularly required to immediately recognize the reactions and act accordingly.
It always becomes difficult when the passive partner cannot talk, for example, due to a gag. Here, the top is particularly required to immediately recognize the reactions and act accordingly.
