How to become a dominatrix

You don't become a dominatrix from one moment to the next. It is a process that goes over several stages. Step by step you can build up a dominatrix existence.

From a normal lover you will first become a young dominatrix. You can try yourself out slowly and increase more and more. You will and should not stand in front of your partner in lacquer and leather and with a whip in your hand.

Even if he wants a dominatrix, that would be too radical a change. YOU must also be able to work it all out with yourself. Therefore, it is better to approach the matter slowly.

Without trust nothing works

Trust is the most important cornerstone to bring a little BDSM into your relationship. If your partner does not trust you completely, he will never be able to get involved with you as a dominatrix. This is also one of the reasons why you should not immediately stand in front of him with whip, shackles and co.

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You want to turn him on and not scare him away. At first, continue to be charming and gentle with him. In the course of the love games you can bring in more and more hardness and give signs that you want to suppress him. If he responds well, you can increase from time to time. This way you can both get used to it and develop fun for it.

Build up a repertoire

Don't buy a huge package of bondage toys and domina equipment right away. Stay small in terms of accessories. Try to dominate your partner without any tools. Use your dominance not only in bed, but also in everyday life.

To tie up your man, you don't necessarily need a bondage set. A simple rope or even your partner's tie will do. Just be creative. If the beginning is made, YOU can expand your dominatrix repertoire piece by piece. Get yourself a first whip, a first paddle.

Put on appropriate outfits made of lacquer and leather. Also Stockings and OverKnees are never wrong. All high-heeled shoes, whether sandals or boots are always suitable. To this should then be added small torture tools. There are penis cages and great toys with stimulation current to discover.


At a much later stage, you can also think about possible BDSM furniture together. There would be for example the St. Andrew's cross, the punishment trestle or also a slave chair. You can find inspiration for BDSM furniture here:

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Show also in everyday life that you are dominant

Even in everyday life you can let your dominance shine through. Don't oppress your partner around the clock and don't expose him in front of others. But at home in your own four walls you can let off steam. Give him tasks so that he can eventually get to you afterwards. Let him do the housework.

Put him in rubber gloves and let him wash the dishes. Even if you actually have a dishwasher. For the moment HE is your dishwasher. Then let him spoil you. If the household is right, your soul should now also be well.

He should run you a hot bath so that you can relax. He may also wash you with a sponge. You will really relax when he has to massage you afterwards. He may massage you everywhere, but he better not get horny! It's best to put a penis cage on him before the massage to keep him nice and chaste. Ideally, you may have already bought a collar and leash.

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Then you can tie him up so that he doesn't get the idea to just leave the room and leave you there. Your everyday life can merge with your sex life and BDSM preference in a pleasant way.

How to radiate authority

One of the most important points, on the way to becoming a real dominatrix, is your authority. You absolutely have to radiate that you are in charge. Be dominant! Make it clear with words, facial expressions and gestures that you are in a higher position than he is.
You can underline your dominance with appropriate outfits.

The overall appearance makes you an authoritarian person. Think of policemen. If they stand in front of you in uniform, you usually have respect. Policemen are authority figures. So you are welcome to wear a police costume to arrest and punish your partner.

A dominatrix usually puts her hot body in lacquer and leather. Black and red are the most popular colors for dominatrix outfits. However, there are also very beautiful leather outfits and vinyl costumes in more unusual colors. But you'll have to rummage through various online catalogs yourself.

Put yourself in a leather outfit, such as a leather corset and leather leggings in front of him. In addition, you wear really high shoes with spiked heels. Please wear them only if you know how to handle them! In your hand you hold a small punishment toy, like a paddle, a crop or similar. Your eyes should be made up dangerously cat-like. Emphasize your lips sensually and tie back your hair strictly. Your partner will not dare to contradict you.

Restraints must be

Every dominatrix has shackles. So make sure you have some too. The ties of your partner are not always enough. Now slowly get some real bondage products. Bondage games are simply part of it. Without, you will never become a real dominatrix. You can buy various ropes. Mouth gags are always exciting and also complete face masks with a small breathing hole can be added later.

There are bondage options that take place directly on the bed. You can also resort to BDSM furniture to make the bondage games even more fancy. Collar and leash are part of the standard equipment. This can gladly be one of the first tools you buy.

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Get hot, wait, drop and maybe reward

Keep coming up with new games for him to play. Be creative to get him really hot. He should quiver with desire and then ... then you just let him sit! Leave the room, eat an apple or do something else. And then you go back to your pleasure slave and play him further horny.

Let him almost come again and then pinch his testicles. The upcoming orgasm is then forgotten again. Then start again.

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At later times you can give him a penis cage. He can wear it for several days. This way you can walk past him naked, dance in front of him or spoil yourself without him being able to get off. You can extend these mean games more and more. But also think about the rewards.

Maybe he can at least spoil you orally? Well, at some point he should be allowed to have horny sex with you to experience a wonderful orgasm. Even a slave needs his rewards.

Private or professional dominatrix

Finally, you have to decide what kind of dominatrix you want to be. There is the private and the professional dominatrix. As a private dominatrix you live out your life only with your partner. Of course, this also works for singles, then it may be changing slaves.

You do this but simply out of a sense of pleasure and take no money for it.
As a professional dominatrix you have a studio or rent one. You can receive your slaves, you discuss his preferences and he pays you for your dominatrix activities.

Tags: Domina
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