Sadomaso
The term Sadomaso is mainly used by the media and is hardly represented in the BDSM scene. This is due on the one hand to the rather negative connotation of the word, but on the other hand also to the fact that sadism and masochism only make up a small variety of BDSM. If you want to express yourself correctly, you should use the term BDSM or sadomasochism. Also the abbreviation SM for the sadomasochistic area is gladly used and accepted by many BDSMists.
SSC and Rack
In the BDSM scene, two different abbreviations are in use for safe and responsible intercourse. One is SSC, which stands for "safe, sane & consensual" and Rack stands for "risk-aware consensual kink". Both abbreviations are meant to emphasize that BDSM should focus on both consent and clear judgment of the situation and shared play.
Voluntary and self-decisive togetherness and trust in each other must be present in BDSM in any case, so that the sessions enjoyed together can be recognized as such and thus be non-justiciable.
Top, Dom, Dominant, Domme
All these terms refer to the active part in a BDSM session. Top means on top, while Dom is an abbreviation of Dominus, the Latin vowel for Lord. All these terms can be used to refer to the active and controlling part of a BDSM relationship, depending on your preference. Female dominant actors are usually referred to as Domme or Dommse in Germany. The term Domina, on the other hand, is uncommon.
Domina
The term dominatrix has little in common with the BDSM scene, but is widely used in the media and in the red light milieu. The term dominatrix is mostly used to describe women from the for sale industry who offer various services in the SM sector. It does not matter whether the lady in question actually feels pleasure through this form of sexuality or only offers this as a service.
Switcher
Switcher is the term used to describe people who feel comfortable in both the active and passive roles of BDSM and can switch roles as needed and as desired. While many people are set in their preferences, switchers enjoy both variations of the game and can gain pleasure from both alternatives.
Vanilla
The term vanilla has emerged over time and is used by the BDSM scene for all sexual practices from the normal range. This designation is based on a survey in which the most popular type of ice cream by far is said to be vanilla ice cream. Accordingly, people who adhere to the most widespread form of sexuality are often referred to as "vanillas" in a non-judgmental way and with a wink.
Fetish
According to the definition, a fetish is the transfer of one's sex drive to a certain object. The number of possible fetishes is therefore infinite and hard to describe. Especially shoe fetishists but also foot fetishists are very common and widely known to the general public. Due to the high openness, the BDSM scene is particularly well suited for fetishists, as many fetishes can be optimally integrated into a BDSM session.
Kink
The term kink comes from the English language and describes the sexual preferences of a person. Kink should not be confused with fetish, because the term kink can be much broader. I can be into being tied up without developing a fetish for handcuffs or bondage ropes. However, often kink and fetish can complement each other perfectly and thus comprehensively enhance the person's pleasure. For example, people with a fetish for rubber gloves get doubly aroused during a kink for erotic clinic play.
CBT
The abbreviation CBT stands for Cock & Ball Torture, a form of sexualized violence widely used in the BDSM field. This involves torturing and focusing on the genitals while producing pain, which many passives find extremely arousing.
Coming Out
The term coming out was borrowed from the homosexual scene and includes the two stages that have to be reached on the way to accepting one's preferences. The first is the inner coming out, in which one's own inclinations have to be determined, evaluated and accepted.
The second coming out concerns the public, because during this process one reveals one's sexual inclination to one's environment. While the first coming out in the BDSM area can take place without difficulties for many people, this looks different with the public display of the BDSM inclination.
This is not least due to the fact that the BDSM inclination is not yet widely recognized and thus one has to fear social or professional disadvantages.
Bondage
Translatingbondage only with bondage games does not come close enough to the art of bondage. Bondage often refers to an artful lacing of the passive partner with the most diverse bondage materials until his freedom of movement has been restricted entirely as desired.
Especially the classic Shibari style of bondage, which was developed and refined in Japan, can make a bondage session last for many hours and create real works of art.
Spanking
The term spanking also comes from the English language. The verb to spank means to spank someone. In the BDSM context, this can be done with the bare hand, but also with the help of equipment such as paddles, brushes, crops or whips.
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As part of a BDSM session, spanking can not only give pleasure to the passive partner, but can also be enormously satisfying for the top, who can see and hear the sub's reactions directly and immediately.
Ring of O
The ring of O is a distinctive feature of the BDSM scene, which is borrowed from Pauline Réage's novel "History of O". It is a ring with an attached eyelet through which a rope or hook can be pulled. However, in modern times, the symbol is changed many times.
A sign for the BDSM scene is the ring-on-ring, i.e. a small ring which is attached to a larger ring like an eyelet. This can be the ring on the hand as well as a piercing or an earring. Those who know how to interpret these subtle signs can often recognize the connoisseur with a penchant for BDSM.
If the rings are worn on the hand, the place also plays an important role. It has become generally accepted that tops wear the ring on the left hand, while subs should wear the ring primarily on the right hand.
Game, Session, Play
All of these terms refer to the same area. A session or play is always a pre-determined time period in which a BDSM setting is aligned and a shared role play is celebrated.
This timing is important because for the duration of the session, the power structure between the players is artificially altered and the reactions are often significantly different than would be the case in normal life reality.
Safeword
The safeword or stop word is the basis for successful and healthy BDSM play. This is because in many games and role plays in BDSM, begging for mercy or pleading for relief are part of the role play. So how is the top supposed to recognize that he is going too far or that the sub wants to stop the game. For this reason, a stop word or safeword is agreed upon before the session, which signals the top to end the game immediately.
The word "Mayday" is widely used and recognized worldwide and can be used by all players. The big advantage of this safeword is that it can hardly be forgotten. Context-free safewords may work just as well, but it should always be kept in mind that the sub is in a possibly current emergency situation when a session is aborted.
Slowwords
In addition, there are so-called slowwords, which are supposed to signal the top to slow down the tempo or intensity. Many BDSM players use the traffic light system. Green shows the top that he can continue without any problems. Orange means that the top is approaching the load limit of the sub, while red makes it clear that the limit has been exceeded and thus asks the top to reduce the intensity of the game.
In this way, the intensity of the game can be optimally controlled even by the actually inferior partner, without having to drop out of the role or without interrupting the actual session. Experience shows that the better the partners know each other and the more often they have played together, the less often a safeword is used, since the limits can be defined better and better.
