Bondage is the English term for bondage games and is firmly located in the BDSM area. The bondage is enormously flexible and multicolored in its expression and in the choice of means and can thus be included in the most diverse settings.
From gentle bondage during sexual intercourse to the complete fixation of the partner by means of chains, handcuffs and spreader bars. Thus, everyone can enjoy bondage as it pleases their own desires and demands.
What is bondage?
The term bondage comes from the English-speaking world and in direct translation means bondage or bondage. Thus, the term is also adopted in the BDSM scene and stands here for the bondage of the passive part by the dominant partner.
Here, the most diverse practices are used for the bondage of the partner. The choice of means and materials used always depends on the specific situation and the fetishes and preferences of the players.
In addition, there are special forms, which are known mainly from the Asian region, where the bondage must meet primarily the aesthetic demands.
What is the attraction of bondage?
There are many aspects which play an important role in bondage. The active partner in bondage can enjoy above all the control and the feeling of power and gradually make the passive partner more and more immobile. The partner is directly and immediately at the mercy of the active part.
Depending on the position and type of bondage, the partner is ready with his sexual organs for his own pleasure and can be used accordingly. For the passive partner in bondage, various factors are in the foreground. On the one hand, it is certainly the feeling of "being at the mercy", which appeals especially to the masochistic areas.
But also the trust in the partner and the feeling to be able to let go plays an important role in bondage. Those who are mainly masochistically inclined enjoy this very special form of discipline during bondage, which consists in the complete control of the freedom of movement.
The passive partner can no longer make any decisions of his own and is completely at the mercy of the active part during the game.
Bondage basics at a glance
With all its variations and possibilities, bondage in BDSM is characterized by the letter B. This already shows how big the space is, which is taken by bondage. Bondage can not only be used enormously versatile in the most different areas of BDSM, but also completely detached from them as a discipline of its own.
Especially eroticism, aesthetics and sexuality play an enormously important role in bondage for many users. They are touched upon again and again, but are never the direct focus of attention. Because the bondage itself must be given the necessary space. To tie up the partner without causing him pain, to present the partner without leaving a rest of control to the partner:
All this is found in the most diverse applications of bondage and is lived out in a variety of ways.
Bondage is an important part of BDSM mainly for one particular reason. Because during bondage the usual equality between the playing partners is suspended. The active part takes control as well as the responsibility over and for the partner.
The passive part, on the other hand, can surrender, relinquish control and become more and more passive in its possibilities through the session. This is where the linguistic devices common in the BDSM scene come into play. "Safe, Sane, Consensual" and "Risk aware consensual kink" are also of great importance in bondage. Because for all the pleasure and excitement, the health of the partner and the minimization of risk must always remain in focus.
Because only through the consent between all parties involved, this bondage does not remain punishable. Because bondage without the consent of the partner falls under the area of deprivation of liberty and are considered a crime against sexual self-determination.
Overview of different types of bondage
Basically, it is difficult to categorize bondage exactly. This is mainly due to the fact that the boundaries and transitions between the different types of play are fluid and sometimes even depend only on the material used for the bondage.
As a rule, bondage is distinguished mainly in terms of the purpose and motivation of the bondage. Thus, the following types of games and subcategories of bondage can be found, among others:
Ornamental bondage: aesthetics as a purpose
Ornamental bondage is still best known and recognized outside the BDSM scene. The most important thing here is the clear focus on an aesthetic presentation of the passive partner. This form of bondage is especially popular in Japan and Asia and is mostly performed with fixed ropes or cloths.
The bondage of the passive partner almost culminates in perfectionism, as all bondage elements and the partner's body should form one unit. In addition, elements of decorative bondage can also be worn as clothing, for example, at fetish parties or similar events.
The purpose bondage
Is probably the best known form of bondage at all.Because with this any form of bondage is associated, which has primarily the goal to dominate the partner and make him defenseless. With the purpose bondage the partner is to be made motionless, in order to be able to accomplish other punitive measures. Those who tie up their partner for spanking are usually engaged in purpose bondage.
The torture bondage
Torture bondage is just a term for now. However, in this form, the bondage is an end in itself and is enough to punish the passive partner. This partner is presented and exhibited by the type of bondage and often has to remain in an uncomfortable or slightly painful position.
The longer this bondage lasts, the more unpleasant it usually becomes for the passive partner. This form of bondage is also very common, especially in Japan, but is also quite widespread in various types of BDSM.
Meditative Bondage
This form of bondage is hardly represented in Europe. In Shibari, a Japanese approach to bondage, on the other hand, the bondage is not understood as an end in itself, but serves the spiritual purification of the bound. The physical restraints serve exclusively to break the spiritual bonds.
The security in bondage
Safety plays a very important role in bondage. After all, damage to the health of the passive partner must and should be avoided in any case. For this reason, we show you in this guide, what you should pay special attention to during bondage and what safety precautions should be taken in any case.
The distress sign and distress signal
First of all it is important to define an emergency signal in the preliminary talk. While a "stop" or "halt" in normal play does not always have to mean a pause, the code word should be used to immediately indicate an exit from the game. Generally, in BDSM, the code word "mayday" is recognized by almost all players.
Also popular are traffic light colors. While a "yellow" means that the active part is about to cross the boundaries and has to hold back now, a "red" by the passive partner means that the active part has to stop the game immediately and release the bondage. This form of communication is enormously important, especially in bondage, and must be taken seriously in any case.
Because bondage of all kinds becomes more uncomfortable and worse with time. What was easy to bear at the beginning can gradually expand into real torture.
Trust is the basis for bondage
Trust is enormously important. Not only the passive part must be able to rely on the active part, but also vice versa. Because both parties must be honest with each other to the extent that they can explain their own experiences and define their own limits in advance.
Someone who claims to be very resilient but has never experienced a real bondage will quickly become overwhelmed. Thus, for both the active and the passive part, the session will be ruined in any case. Honesty and trust play an enormously important role in bondage and should not be underestimated.
Anyone who is not sure or feels uncomfortable before a session should refrain from bondage on that day. After all, safety is always the top priority.
Always have safety tools at hand
In bondage, it is very important to be able to release the bondage quickly. While you can take your time when tying up, it is important to react quickly in case of emergency. So have the appropriate tools ready in advance and before the bondage begins. Spare keys for locks or handcuffs should be kept within easy reach.
If you use cloth or rope, you should always have a sharp pair of bandage scissors ready. Please do not use sharp knives or normal scissors. If things get hectic and you have to free your partner, you can cause serious injuries. Bandage scissors with round tips, on the other hand, can be used without any problems even in hectic situations.
What you should pay attention to when tying up in any case
Even though many pictures and films show enormously complex bondage situations, they are often not suitable for imitation. Basically, you should avoid all bondages and bondage measures on the neck and joints.
This is where the worst danger spots occur and where the most severe nerve damage can occur if the technique is poor. For the neck, you can rather choose suitable collars from the wide range of sex toys, which do not cut and still achieve their effect. Especially in the area of the upper body, make sure that the bondage is not too tight and thus pinches off important areas.
Above all, do not orientate yourself on any photos of experts who have often spent many years learning the technique. If you try to imitate these techniques and restraints, you can risk serious injuries to your victim.
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Self-bondage: especially dangerous
Self-bondage is considered to be particularly dangerous. If you like to be tied up, but can't find a suitable partner for this form of sexuality, you often resort to self-bondage. Here, the possibility of release is often made impossible for a certain and pre-determined period of time as part of a so-called tunnel game.
For example, the key to the restraints is enclosed in a block of ice, which must melt before the key is accessible. This may sound appealing, but in most cases it is extremely dangerous. This is because not all imponderables can be easily assessed and controlled.
If you deprive yourself of any room for maneuver and do not include any safety options, you can starve to death or die of thirst in the worst case scenario. But also pinching off and dying of body parts or suffocation are possible within the different bondage scenarios and should always be kept in mind.
There are too many negative examples of self-bondage to list them in detail here. Therefore, we generally advise against any form of self-bondage.
Materials and tools for bondage
The choice of materials is enormously varied and depends mainly on the preferences of the players and the setting in which bondage is practiced. However, there are also some tools that should not be used in bondage, because the material properties offer too high a potential danger.
Thus, especially strongly stretching materials are not particularly appreciated, because they contract and can result in an unwanted strengthening of the bondage. Apart from that, however, there is still a lot of room left to the imagination:
Ropes in Bondage
Ropes are one of the classic tools in bondage. Especially in classical bondage, the Shibari, ropes made of hemp or jute are used exclusively. However, in the westernized world, ropes made of cotton, synthetic fiber or other materials are also used in bondage.
The ropes are often specially designed for use in bondage and are therefore particularly supple and pleasant on the skin. For this reason, we advise you to use special bondage ropes in any case. With these, the passive part can not only relax more easily, but also the bondage is much easier due to the good properties of the hand.
Metal, leather and wood
Especially in the BDSM area, materials like leather and metal are particularly popular for bondage. Metal is especially popular because of its unyieldingness and hardness. Whether with hand or foot cuffs, thumbscrews or hooks - hooks with balls attached to one side, which can be fastened in the various body openings - the passive part can be tied up and fixed enormously well and, above all, securely with the right aids.
In any case, it is important that the toys and aids such as spreader bars, chains and carabiners are manufactured to the highest standards and do not have any corners and edges on which the passive part could injure itself. The avoidance of pressure points also plays an important role in this form of BDSM. For this reason, many of the metal bondage toys are not used directly on joints or are surrounded with a protective layer of leather or fabric.
Also, many pieces of furniture from the field of BDSM and bondage are made of metal and wood and serve as an attachment for the various bondage sessions. Whether trestle, St. Andrew's cross, spreader bars, pillory, gallows or gyn chair: on each of these pieces of furniture the passive part can be immobilized with the means of bondage.
High quality bodybags made of latex
Leather and latex are extremely popular among many people as sexualized fetishes. Bodybags offer a simple yet enormously effective form of bondage, as the passive partner's ability to move can be almost completely restricted in a bodybag.
Through cuffs, straps and collars, the partner in the bodybag can be easily fixed and rendered incapable of action. The bodybags are available in leather, silicone and latex and can therefore be easily adapted to the fetish and the wishes of the passive part. In addition, the bodybags are available in a wide variety of designs and versions, so that the bondage in such a bodybag can also be used with a wide variety of fetishes.
Whether used for pony play, adult babies or lingerie wearers, such bodybags can be used without any problems.
Gags and masks
Gags and masks also play an important role in bondage. Because through these aids the helplessness of the passive part can be increased again significantly. However, safety is important in any case. While an eye mask can increase the tension and thus inspire the desire, a gag is always a clear restriction.
With a gag, the passive partner can no longer express his signal of distress and can thus be easily overwhelmed. Make out a simple hand signal for this purpose. It is important that the active part now plays even more attentively and waits for any reaction from the passive partner. Nevertheless, gags are extremely popular and available in a wide variety of versions.
Whether as ball, bit or penis gag, inflatable or with tunnel: If it is not supposed to be a professional gag from the field of sex toys, pieces of laundry, tape or cloths can also make a good gag. As long as you always pay attention to the air supply of the passive partner, this is not a problem.
Other materials in bondage
If other materials are to be used in bondage, this is usually due to the fetishes of the users. In white eroticism, Segufix systems or straitjackets are used for bondage as well as plaster bandages or dressing materials, for example.
Other people enjoy bondage with cling films, adhesive tapes or gymnastic tapes and extract their satisfaction there. Bondage is built broadly enough that anyone can feel comfortable in it and act out. In addition, in the field of sex toys you can find various pieces of clothing, the sole purpose of which is to tie up and fix the partner who is in it.
Whether it's a bondage skirt, a homo glove or a vacuum bed: the possibilities are diverse and colorful.
If this guide has inspired you and you want to take your first steps in bondage yourself, we at Steeltoyz offer you a range of tools for the first bondage sessions, with which you can work safely and relaxed.
Nicht Shades of Grey
Meine Freundin und ich sind durch einen Film auf die Idee mit dem Bondage gekommen. Nicht Shades of Grey!!! Da bestehe ich drauf. Auf jeden Fall meinte meine Freundin, dass Sie durchaus einmal Lust hätte, solche Fesselspiele zu erleben. Natürlich spielt bei sowas die Sicherheit eine wichtige Rolle, doch für unsere ersten Spiele haben wir vor allem mit den Tüchern und Schals meiner Freundin gespielt. Wir haben uns dabei abgewechselt und ich muss sagen, dass mir beide Rollen viel Spaß gemacht haben. Allerdings waren die Tücher nur bedingt bequem, sodass wir uns entschieden haben uns ein passendes Equipment zuzulegen. Mit dem Artikel hier konnten wir uns umfassend informieren und uns vor allem über die verschiedenen Möglichkeiten Gedanken machen. Denn wie man lesen kann: Bondage ist nicht gleich Bondage. Jetzt haben wir ein passendes Bondage-Seil und auch Knebel und Augenmaske und genießen diese Spiele total. Sich so ausgeliefert zu fühlen beziehungsweise die Kontrolle zu übernehmen ist genial. Allerdings würde ich solche Spiele nur mit jemandem genießen wollen, den ich schon sehr lange kenne und dem ich absolut vertraue. Denn Bondage ist in jedem Fall der ultimative Vertrauensbeweis gegenüber dem eigenen Partner.
*****
Ich bin masochistisch. So schwer das auch klingt, ich empfinde meine Lust vor allem durch Erniedrigung und in Teilen auch durch Schmerzen. Damit bin ich als Mann sicherlich nicht alleine, aber es ist durchaus schwieriger eine passende Partnerin fürs Leben und vor allem für den Sex zu finden. Auch wenn es bisher nicht zu einer festen Partnerschaft gereicht hat, so treffe ich mich doch regelmäßig mit einer Frau, welche einen ähnlichen Fetisch hat und sich eher auf der aktiven Seite sieht. Da wir beide nur wenig Erfahrung in diesen Bereichen haben und ich ehrlich gesagt nicht glaube, dass viele der Pornos in diesem Bereich echt sind, haben wir versucht uns zu informieren. Der extrem lange Artikel auf der Seite hier hat uns in jedem Fall viel geholfen und uns einige neue Ideen gebracht. Also weniger mir, als meiner "Spielgefährtin". Wir haben nun einige Sachen im Bereich Bondage ausprobiert und ich muss zugeben, dass diese meine Lust in jedem Fall triggern. Vollkommen ausgeliefert zu sein und dann auch noch Schmerzen und Erniedrigung erdulden zu müssen ist für mich ein echtes Highlight. Leider können wir uns nicht so oft treffen, doch jedes Treffen wird zu einem echten Erlebnis. Vor allem, weil wir beide noch voneinander lernen und uns immer besser einspielen.
Fesselnd
Fesselspiele konnte ich mir lange Zeit nicht als interessant oder geil vorstellen. Bis meine damalige Partnerin mich einmal gefesselt hat und die Lust mich durchzuckte. Seitdem weiß ich, dass ich auf Bondage stehe. Um das meiner neuen Partnerin nahezubringen, habe ich den Ratgeber einfach einmal ausgedruckt und liegen lassen. Das kann zumindest in den nächsten Tagen ein interessantes Gesprächsthema ergeben. Und wer weiß. Vielleicht komme ich ja nochmal in den Genuss mich nach allen Regeln der Kunst fesseln zu lassen. Anregungen bietet der Ratgeber doch ausreichend, um die Neugier zu wecken. Ich werde mich in jedem Fall überraschen lassen und schauen, ob ich meine Partnerin nicht von dieser Form der Lust zu überzeugen vermag.